waiting

when I thought I was ready, God decides to teach me about waiting. We're still waiting on baby. This little guys got a double dose of stubborn woven into his DNA, he doesn't stand a chance. If they've said by the end of the month he'll come Dec. 1st for sure. There is every sign in the book its really really soon....but still no Logan. We'll see if he storms into Thanksgiving!

Ps 62:5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God. My Hope is in him alone.

not yet but almost...

We're not yet there but almost are....officially we've been told he will be here before the end of the month! I'm so ready to NOT be pregnant I'm ready to do anything. Ready Jenny McCarthy's book or look through any pregnancy book and I've experienced everything under the sun and more if you've got an imagination!
For the record, if anyone were to speculate I may not have worked until the absolute end, think again. I had 7 hrs of contractions yesterday yet still came into work today. This baby has 'dropped' as low as he can go and not drop out yet I'm still at work. I've cleaned my own puke (sorry if its TMI) yet still made it into work. I'm walking around dilated, yet still I'm here! I'm about as sick of architecture as I am of being pregnant.
I'm ready to be home. I love being in the house. While eating breakfast this morning a large hawk flew into the yard and perched on a branch nearby. No doubt he was looking for a nice squirrel! I'm worried the little black squirrel with no tail will get caught. I've named him minus. The other squirrels don't like him and they bully him but he still keeps hopping around like he doesn't care. We've also got a allusive raccoon. He stays well hidden but is into everything.
I cannot wait to get through the next several weeks. I'm sure most of it will be quite surreal. I cannot wait to surface as my non-pregnant self and take this little one outside. I considered going camping this weekend (to bring on labor) the more I talked about it the more contractions I had. This little guy got excited as I got excited! I've tried to tell him he'll have plenty of time to go camping when he's out and that I deserve at least one more trip but he's stubborn (like his parents).
Another venting moment: to those that keep telling me 'my world is getting ready to change'....where have you been? my world changed the minute we confirmed this pregnancy! And renovating, moving and Brian's job change, my friendships changing, my transitions at work...that's not enough change for you? Sure things will change - I'll have a newborn and NOT be pregnant! Yippie. I'll have ONE responsibility. For the next month or so until we determine my work-return-to-work details I'll have only ONE responsibility. That's such a relief. ALSO, to those that keep telling me to rest now cause I can't when I have a newborn.....what type of sleep pattern do you think I've been having? 90 minutes at a time! I'm lucky if I get 3-4 hours in one stretch with out getting up or taking heartburn/ nausea meds. Don't talk to me about sleep deprivation. Right now I've got a 6-7lb human jumping around inside me, a 20 lbs cat that likes sleeping ON me, 15lb cat that likes sleeping beside us and Brian - all in one bed! Yeah I'll be happy with my sleep when I can put at least one of these in the other room! The WORST part of pregnancy, beyond the physical agony, is the unsolicited advice. Everyones got it and feels the need to freely pour it upon you. For some reason the closer the relative the more controlling they are!
Not too much longer now. All the rest may leave instantly but I feel the advice will continue to pour....

nesting

ok, so I won't deny it this time....I'm nesting. My mother-in-law says 'everything will have to be perfect for the baby' that's when I'll know I'm 'nesting'. Well, I'm not stuck on getting everything perfect for him per say, I'm more focused on being ready so I'm not freaking out about not having stuff finished. For example, I'm working on cooking and freezing chicken-pot-pies, keeping the house as clean as possible, dishes are constantly being done, cat litter is to be empty at all times, I'm scheduling the bills to be paid through the end of the month, ALL trash must be taken out immediately, I've got lists for my lists. I'm OCD, anal, whatever you want to call me, but this is extreme. I do not want to bother with unopened mail when I go into labor. As many of you know I've begun to feel pressure on several occasions. Usually its brought on by crazy excessive working around the house. Resting seems to pause it. However my midwife has confirmed its not false but that I'm actually dilating. Each time I experience it, the pressure is slightly more intense. One day this will being and will not stop till I get this being out!
It took until the last days/weeks for me to catch the baby fever but I finally caught it. My symptoms? I got really giddy and couldn't pass up buying mini corduroys lined with fleece and a green onesie with little trees on it. The outfit would totally match the little Teva's we've gotten him. I'm already planning our first 'hike' at Latta. My to do list has more fun cutesy baby stuff on it than I ever thought possible. On top of my Blue Ridge Outdoors magazine lies FitPregnancy and mom&baby.....I'm more excited about receiving my little baby clothes in the mail than my Patagonia order....hmm.

Update

So its official. I'll be out of work next Friday. I originally aimed for Dec 1 now I'm having to leave mid-Nov. I'm ok with that. I've accepted that I owe it to myself to have some resting time. I'm not nearly as miserable as I was the past 8 months. Next week I'm roughly 37 weeks along anyways. Since my body's been spurting into labor randomly its best I take a cue from my lazy cats and get some rest. Who knows when this little guy will come but he's giving us plenty of warning. Of course I've got plans for what to do with (hopefully a few days to a week off). I'm going to cook! I'm going to make tons of food to freeze for when he finally does come. We'll have a vat of chili and beef stew, lasagna, chicken pot-pies and quiche.....I've also got a list of foods to have on hand and a regular grocery shopping list for anyone willing to run to the store for us. If I could make a profession out of list making I'd make tons of money!
We're ready! Clothes are washed, sheets are on the bed, things are in order....we're prepared as we're going to be for Logan's arrival.
Stay Tuned......

Final Fronter

The shower was a success! I won't say it was pulled of without a hitch. There were many glitches. Of course we were working on the house until late Friday evening and I cooked for 5+ hours. I guess I'll not be cooking Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners this year thus I got my need to churn out all three Pumpkin, Pecan and Apple pies this go around. I also learned that even though you get something catered it might need cooking! My apologies to anyone who ate the spanikopita before we realized they needed heating. Thanks to everyone who turned out. It was truly awesome experience.
To my friends, they know who they are, that stepped up to the plate and essentially made sure I did not go into labor during the shower - You gals ROCK. I have plenty of assurance you guys will weigh into the chaos again. I'm sure I'll be kept company at the hospital and I'm looking forward to having adult interaction in the weeks of new mommy-hood. I'm not quite sure how I'll explain to Logan why he's got so many Aunts. Some we'll cook with, eat with or climb with, others we'll hike and camp with.
I heard recently that conscious parenting beings long before birth. Its our full intention to raise this little guy immersed in a world filled with our passions. Ultimately he'll choose his own path but he'll be fully exposed to our beliefs, respect for nature, appreciation for good food and active lifestyle. YES, that's right active lifestyle. I fully intend for Logan (whose name means "of the outdoors") to spend several nights under the stars before he even knows how to walk. If one more person tells us our lives are going to change and that we'll not be doing all this 'stuff' we enjoy anymore I'll blow a gasket. We're not weekend warriors, we live a certain way. If you grow a garden you'll not stop because you have children. No, you'll teach them where their food comes from (not the produce section of WalMart) and how to compost!
I've been asked another annoying question in the last weeks: Are you excited to be having a baby? What kinds of answers do people expect. I know down here in the south they must expect a sugar coated "Oh yes very!" served with a polite smile. See as I march to the beat of my own drum and certainly do not naturally react this way I've sarcastically replied "oh sure, its growing on me!" In all honesty, no I'm not excited to have a baby. (verb) If anyone is excited to go through this action you must be crazy. My pregnancy has been enough discomfort to keep anyone from having a baby. Sure, initially you do have an infant. Infant grows into baby-hood. baby-hood grows to crumb-snatcher....and so on. I'm not a baby person. Of course I know you love your own. I already do in my own way but I'm excited for the long haul.
I'm excited to have a new person. Far too often one catches baby-fever and gets caught up in it all. I think we're excited to begin growing a family. To begin to raise a person. I'm looking forward to watching him experience life. Baby-hood will have its moments but as I know from my brother so does all the other stages. The way his face lights up over life's simple things and his laugh, his humor and hearing his imagination. Those are the things we get to experience long after he grows out of smartwool booties.

For those of you desiring pictures. I've finally posted some of the house and Logan's room on flickr.com PEOPLE search for 'jessica.macintosh' and you should find them.

We're in the final 30 days and will no doubt post the big news of his official arrival ASAP....Stay Tuned.